Twilight: Ultimate Nerds
by Book maniac13
Summary: We all know the handsome Edward... what if he was ugly? Would Bella still like him? And also... Jacob! What would happen if he was a super nature freak? Read this hilarious story about what would happen if beloved Edward and Jacob were Ultimate Nerds!
1. Chapter 1

Bella walked into the crowded school and made her way to her first class. She had just moved to Forks because of an unfortunate event of a boy stalking her. She shivered at the thought.

She walked into the large Biology classroom to see many normal enough students and she hoped she would become friends with the better looking ones. But as she scraped her eyes across the class she caught sight of an horribly ghastly looking boy who looked at her. He starred at her apprehensively and she looked away hoping he would stop looking at her. The class started and the teacher introduced her and began with the usual Monday events but still she could feel the boy's stare.

What a creeper.

Lunch time came at last and Bella saw a pretty girl and decided to sit by her. "Hi I"m Jessica! So your Bella right?" She nodded her head slowly.

"Who is that kid?" said Bella looking directly at the boy from class. "That is Edward Cullen! He is such a geek," said Jessica, trying not to look at him. He kept looking at Bella and she decided to ignore him for as long as possible! And maybe somehow longer.

At the end of her last period, Bella started to walk to the front doors and realized that Edward was following her. She whipped around to see Edward's ugly face gazing at her intently. She soon shrugged him off. As she walked through the front doors, then seeing her jeep she ran to it. It had been a long day. No one seemed too out of the ordinary... except that horrifically ugly Cullen boy.

She started the short drive home, hoping that Cullen boy would respect her personal space while she was here.

Bella ran straight into the back yard with a book. She didn't particularly like reading, but she needed to get away from Charlie. She read a little and then decided to look around. There was a very small wood behind the house so she climbed their fence and started to look around.

There were trees everywhere and bushes too. One bush started to rustle and she stood back. Suddenly a boy popped out and he looked like he had been living out here... and he smelled like it!

" My apologies! I thought you were a bear. You looked like it from behind," said the kid quickly. She then made a mental note to lose some weight. Bella scowled at him. But then he spoke up once again.

"I'm Jacob. Nice to meet you." He then gasped loudly. "You shouldn't be camping without any boots or food or... or... well, anything! How long have you survived!" Before he could say any more she quickly said. "My house is that one over there." She pointed to her house, " I just hopped the fence. By the way, my name is Bella"

He seemed to sigh in relief, but then he looked surprised. "Your Charlie's daughter?" he asked. Bella nodded her head. "Our father's are friends! That's cool!" he had barely finished when Bella thought, _Yeah... and I hope we won't be friends! _

He smiled politely and said, "Do you want to see my car?" he asked excitedly. "Sure."

His car turned out to be a rusty convertible that didn't even work. Worst of all it was just in the woods, no shed to work in, no table to hold tools... it was just there!

"Isn't she a beauty?" asked Jacob. Not really as a question. She took one look at the car and decided right there that Edward looked better then this. No wait... he didn't. "Ok-kay..." she answered slowly. He seemed to beam at the broken down car.

"I should get going..." Bella said after a minute of silence while he looked at his car. Or what was left of it... "Okay! See you later, Bella!"

As she left she was relieved! That kid was ultimately weird. Not only was he a wilderness freak but he had a car that he probably spent hours looking at. She reached the fence and climbed nimbly over. She ran through the itchy glass and walked into the house.

Over dinner she told Charlie about the weird kid named Jacob. Charlie confirmed that he was friends with Jacob's dad. She ate quickly and left the dishes for Charlie to wash, because she was beat. She walked slowly up the stairs, dragging her feet as she went.\

School had already lasted almost three weeks. Bella came to school as usual and did the same that she did every day. She came to class, Edward starred at her (creepy), she had lunch, went some more boring classes, and came home.

When she came home she started to smell pizza and decided that Charlie must have ordered one. They ate in silence. She wanted to speak up but nothing seemed important enough to say. After many good night's from Charlie she climbed into bed, and was soon sound asleep at ten o'clock.

She woke up with a start and looked at her clock. It was two am. Bella looked around in the dark trying to get used to it. She saw a figure... Bella quickly flipped on the light and saw Edward in her room. "You look so calm when you sleep," he said almost beckoning for her to hit him! "How'd you get in here?" said Bella breathlessly. He chuckled a bit and nodded his head at the window.

"AHHH! Get out of here! Get out of my room!" Bella screamed throwing her pillow at him and whipping her head around hoping to find a big book. "AHHH! Get out!" she screamed again aggressively. He started toward the window before looking back at her and giving a slight smile. She found a book and threw it at him, hitting him directly in the face. Still smiling he climbed out the window and she hurried up, still, shaky, and locked it.

Somehow she met up with sleep and she was pulled into a nightmare where millions of Edwards surrounded her.

She shivered in her sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately- depends on how you look at it) for Bella, Charlie was not a light sleeper and had heard nothing during the night. She decided to keep her little adventure from him fo she didn't know if she'd been dreaming or not.

She soon found out, however. She had been assigned to sit next to Edward in Biology and he couldn't stop staring at her.

"What was that you were wearing last night?" Edward said. "It looked great on you," he murmured, leaning in close and...smelling her? Bella whirled around to see but Edward looked ahead, though he looked like he was holding himself back from doing something.

"What are you doing?" she asked, agitated.

"You smell so good," he said, barely opening his mouth. He wouldn't even look at her. _Thank goodness_, Bella thought. And she continued taking notes.

After school, Bella was walking over to her car when she heard something awful behind her. Another car came screaming towards her. She had no time to think. She jumped out of th way, right into Edward's waiting arms.

"What are you doing here?" she cried in alarm.

"Saving you!" he said, overjoyed at the prospect of having Bella close to him. She quickly noticed this and pushed him away.

"I would like it if you would leave me alone," she said coldly, walking back to her car.

Days passed and Edward continued to be a creep, Jacob continued to pop up out of bushes for no apparent reason, and Charlie kept to himself. _Ah, the men in my life, _Bella thought to herself sarcastically after another silent dinner with her father.

One day, Bella saw Edward walking into some nearby woods at lunch. She really didn't care for the kid, but she was mildly curious as to what the heck he was doing. He suddenly turned and beckoned her to follow. Bella pretended not to notice, to be wrapped up in whatever it was Jessica was saying. But a moment later, Edward had grabbed her arm and was sullenly pulling her along with him. She protested the whole way. Once they were out of sight, he pulled her onto his back and they flew across the land. Bella was terrified. And the worst part was that Edward would not let go of her, no matter how hard she hit him. Finally, he stopped and she fell to the ground.

"What kind of a freak are you?" she yelled at him. "And where have you taken me?"

"There's something you should know," Edward said, turning away from her.

"I really don't care, you creep," Bella said, very pissed off. She wanted to go back to school. She was going to be late for her next class. And she was alone with this weirdo. Not exactly what she had planned for the day.

Edward walked a few feet away from her, into a bit of sunlight. He took off his glasses and began unbuttoning his shirt.

"Stop!" Bella screamed, shielding her eyes.

"It's okay. Not everyone knows how to handle it the first time," he said, comfortingly.

"Get away from me!"

"Bella, look at me."

She did as she stepped back again and had to cover her eyes almost immediately. "Blinding me doesn't mean you can overtake me as easily," she said. "Not fair, for one thing."

"Overtake you?" he asked.

"Yes. I don't want to sleep with you. I don't want anything to do with you."

"Sleep with me? I hadn't even gotten that far. Oh Bella. I know you're not ready right now. I'm not either. But someday..."

"No! Not ever!"

"But...I'm a vampire. Isn't that supposed to be hot or something?"

Bella rolled her eyes. "No. I am going back to the school right now. Goodbye." and she stormed away. She hadn't gotten far when a rustling was heard from a bush in front of her.

"Hi Bella!" Jacob said, hopping up.

Bella wanted to hit him. But she held back. "Just because our dads are friends doesn't mean you have to stalk me," she said, walking past him.

"But that just makes it much more fun," he said, following.

Bella was getting quite fed up with this. Just when she was beginning to tolerate Jacob, she suddenly found herself moving very fast...

"Edward! Put me down!" she yelled.

"Not yet," he replied calmly. "We have to distance ourselves. And get back to Forks."

"What do you mean, get back to Forks? Where have you taken me?"

"Northern Idaho. But that's not important right now. We'll be back to the school in no time."

Twenty minutes later, Edward stopped and set Bella down.

"I thought you said we'd be back in no time," she said angrily.

"Well...yes. These trees just all look the same..." he said, looking around himself in confusion.

Bella was fuming. "Edward! If I am not back to school in five minutes, I will request to not sit by you in Biology!"

He turned to look at her, a pained look on his face. "But Bella..."

"Where are we?" she yelled.

"I think...Canada. I took a wrong turn by Coeur D'Alane. I'm sorry, Bella."

She stood and began walking away from him.

"Where are you going, darling?"

That was the last straw. "Darling? You think this means we're in a relationship or something. I am not your 'darling'. I am not your anything. You are a creep and you need to take me back to school and keep your clothes on. I'll tell Charlie about this and he'll..." she stopped to take a breath.

"Ohhh...you're so cute when you're upset," he said, coming toward her with outstretched arms. She ducked away from him just in time and began running.

_Maybe I can find cell phone reception somewhere,_ she thought. Bella ran until she found herself coming out of the woods and into a large clearing. If she looked in the distance, she could see a very familiar looking school. In fact, it was the one she had recently been kidnapped from.

"Canada, eh?" she said to herself, walking angrily back to the building.


	3. Chapter 3

Bella continued to try avoiding Jacob and Edward, though it was very hard. They seemed to appear everywhere in her life and at the most inconvenient times. Whenever that Mike boy came anywhere near her, one of her two stalkers would show up and ruin everything. Bella had to admit that Mike was quite cute and kind of funny and he seemed sort of into her. Whatever he was, he was better then Edward or Jacob any day.

And those two seemed relentless. Though neither had officially asked her out, they both seemed to think she was crazily in love with them and often the two would begin fighting when they came at the same time.

"You know Bella loves me, Edward!" Jacob yelled, a twig falling out of his unkempt hair. "Werewolves pwn!"

"She never could! Vampires are hotter! And someday we will rule Forks."

Bella took advantage of these encounters to sneak away from the two fools. Her relationship with her father was actually improving since she would come home in the dumps and something he would say would make her laugh. Dinners were less silent and Bella felt happier with her life. Her dad wasn't half bad and there was a decent guy who seemed to like her. Life seemed to be improving. Even Jacob and Edward amused her from time to time, though she continued to hope that they would just leave her alone.

One day, Bella was walking to Biology when Edward came up to her, looking ecstatic.

"Bella, darling..."

"Darling?"

"Sorry. Bella, I want to let you know how much I appreciate that you let me sit beside you in Biology. Being a vampire means I've been through high school multiple times and sometimes such things are quite dull. You have made my existence worth it now and..." he stopped as they entered the room. Bella was surprised and followed his eyes to the board.

"NEW SEATING ARRANGEMENTS"

Bella grinned. It was going to be a good day. While Edward fell to the floor and began to sob, Bella took a seat next to Mike and waited to be put in a more permanent seat.

Right after Biology class, Mike caught up with Bella at the same time as Edward.

"Ehh...you can go first," Mike said.

"Thank you," Edward replied. "Bella, I am quite upset that I do not get to see you as much anymore. Sitting across the room from you will put a huge strain on us, but..."

"We don't have anything, Edward," Bella interrupted, turning to Mike. "Now, what was it you wanted?"

Mike grinned. "I thought you two had a thing. But if you don't..." He looked at Edward for a moment before speaking. "What're you doing Saturday night?"

Edward collapsed, but Bella found that she really didn't care. She and Mike continued down the hall, laughing and talking.

And from that day on, the two boys left her alone.

The end.


End file.
